literature

Starless

Deviation Actions

MickeyFebruary's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

    A strip of light peeked from the bathroom door, pressing over her exposed body. She lay waiting on the hotel bed. Her body weightless, and mind to the air. The man she paid was preparing himself on the other side.

    She was done with the motionless life of her cubicle, done gazing at the intangible stars. She only wanted to meld with the rapid city, its bustling streets, and neon ridden backdrop.

   As it was happening, she savored the bounce of the springs, the hovering heat, the feel of her flesh under the lifelines of a stranger. For a short time, she could move with the rest.

  In the morning, she woke alone to the noise of traffic and chatter. Her body remained, swaddled by the memory of him.

   The stars were gone.

   She was left to start again
I'm not sure what this is. Thought I'd share it anyway!
Comments and/or critiques are always appreciated. 
© 2014 - 2024 MickeyFebruary
Comments7
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nawkaman's avatar
I think this is more flash fiction than narrative poetry. The language does have a poetic nature, but the structure is much more geared toward prose. Whatever you call it, though, it's well expressed. I think the detached sensuality works and the vacant sort of emotion is interesting too.